Blame Your Mother?

So, who is really responsible for circumstances in your life? Is it your parents, the neighborhood you grew up in, the horrible teacher you had, or is it YOU?

I recently had a conversation with a friend who grew up in Bosnia and who is slightly dissatisfied with her life. I know for a fact how gifted and simply amazing she is, but for one reason or another — she can’t see it clearly right now. As she was sharing, she said that she told her mother how she wishes she received more direction from her. If her mother gave her that, then she might have figured out her calling by now.

Her saying this to her mother was just like kicking someone while they are down.

Her mother is one of the most wonderful women I have met, a woman who fought her entire life to provide her kids with food, love and safety. A woman without any formal education, who just wanted her kids to be happy and was doing the best she could, with what she was given.

I kept thinking to myself: “Did she want violin lessons in Bosnia? During or after the civil war?” I know of many other women who have shared the same fate of no clear educational nurturing (including myself), but only few blame parents or geography for their circumstances. Growing up in Bosnia, we didn’t have strength finders or opportunity to try different sports or musical instruments — it just was and it was part of our journey.

Here’s the thing: if we all needed perfect parents and educational direction, as well as resources to explore our strengths — we would never have Oprah Winfrey or president Barack Obama, or Anthony Robbins. This is the hand you have been dealt with and it is your job to take responsibility NOW for your life NOW.

Even if you think you didn’t receive what you needed, it is never too late to have a happy childhood.

If you are dissatisfied, it is much easier to blame everyone else for your existence. By doing so, you don’t have to take responsibility for your own life. This approach comes from weakness, though, and not strength.

The fact is that you are creative, resourceful and whole. You have been given exactly what you need up to this point as it is all part of your journey. The fun is finding out WHO you are and re-creating yourself, owning your own life and power. It is not too late to have a happy childhood and maybe part of the magic is not having had what you think you needed — could that be the answer to your question? 

So, what do you think? Do you know of people who blame others and how do you respond? Any suggestions for people who find themselves in this predicament?