Boasting About Your Nice Weather… yada, yada, yada

Woe to you and your boast about MN mild Winter.

And no, I’m not jealous.  I just want you to suffer a little, in order to make me feel justified in being down here.  People love to chat about the Weather in MN where it varies a bit. Down here, we don‘t talk about the perennial summer. Maybe during hurricane season there may be a buzz about tropical depressions and trajectory etc., but this time of year the news is bone dry, even if the humidity isn’t.

Remember the Boomtown Rats and their hit song ‘I don’t like Mondays’. 

We love Mondays here.  Puerto Ricans did something about this here.  We did not work this past Monday and we are off next Monday,  even though most Puerto Ricans probably don‘t have a clue about MLK.  So, what can you do? On the one hand, with the island laissez faire attitude regarding very hard work; I think they would love the Martin Luther King sit-in idea vs. the much ballyhooed stand-work bugaboo.

Pictures will show you the only hard working fellers here - the Surfers!  They will surf almost anytime, Mondays for sure and I joined them this past Monday. I don’t know if they even work on their hard abs. Probably still young enough that sloth and beer haven’t caught up to them.

But, you had to go on and on about the MN Weather.

While we have our very own Season in the Tropics when King Neptune, fed by the warm waters churned from Davy Jones‘ Locker; stir up the waves before they marched onto land to vent their hateful wrath. You have your nice, mild MN winter and, I have Mr. Hurricane.

The Caribbean faces Hurricanes every year.  In the Pacific they are called Typhoon, and they are called Cyclones in the Indian Ocean, but I think, a more apt name for hurricanes and most any meteorological disturbance in Puerto Rico is El No Electricito. (Power out quite often)

And, then there is El Nino, (little boy) the mischievous scamp, who messes around with currents and affects weather all over the globe.  What kind of a kid does this? They should have called it Al Goro.

What about Dr. Flood who takes an impish delight in turning things on their head.  The Amazon River breaks its banks every year.  And, floods have caused messes in the Philippines, Russia, and China & Chili.  Yet without the flood, the Nile would not be so fertile.

As the water runs out, the dusty guy, Ms. Drought, all crackly, dry & sandy, gets a bad reception.  1930’s Dust bowl spelled hardship for all those who made hurried acquaintances with an over plantation of corn and wheat and didn’t expect to run into ol’ Ms. D.  Just hope due to the lack of precipitation, you won’t have dust snow balls there in the MN.

Mr. Sunshine is fun.  The worlds sunniest place is Yuma, AZ with a total of 4,000 hours of sun each year and close enough to Area 51 to be abducted at least once per year.

750 degrees Fahrenheit was probably the temperature of lava spilling out of Mount Vesuvius in Pompeii, Italy nearly 20 centuries ago.  Vesuvius became a giant cannon, the bullet-fast rock may have traveled as fast as 2,000 feet a second and ash fell at a rate of 6 inches per hour. Certainly not as prodigious as the Great Halloween Blizzard of CE 1991... but impressive all the same.

Yip, despite the weather scientists trying to forecast the weather patterns and mood swings of our weather, the weather often gives us the ole slippery slope and does something quite unexpected -- like spring in MN this January, a new stadium deal, and snow along the Rio Grande last February.

We think every time something comes along that, in our brief life, seems unexpected, that it must be the sky is falling. Maybe if everyday was truly unpredictable, chaotic and random; the minute we experienced one week of consistency, predictability and normalcy, we’d then blame it and curse it on the sun of all entities.

Down here, we blame it all on the sun; and the wind and the waves… and take next Monday off.