Clowns, Babies, Politics And The Toilet!

I need to guide children on a Science Expo coming up and I was thinking of the toilet.

So many urinals and toilets at the school have "3.8 L" written on top. Why not just write 1 gallon? And many may wonder who cares how much is being sent down per flush anyhow? All the same, it helps me remember the conversion rate… and besides relief, that is all the toilet is good for.

I’ve been researching toilet history and Cummin’s brilliant feature: the S-bend.  The S-bend used a curved pipe to trap water, sealing the toilet off from the smelly sewers beneath.  

I couldn’t help but marry politics with the toilet.

When we first purchase/build our dream home… it is ohhhhh, so very important to pick out just the right toilet top, seat and color. But after about 10 years of living in the house, we basically just try to keep it clean and flushable. It really doesn’t matter if we went with the rightwing American Standard, the leftist Kohler or libertarian Glacier Bay.

One spins to the left, one to the right, but the Coriolis doesn’t effect either.

Toilets took off with the S-bend. Many inventors came up with improved versions—although modern toilets still have the same basic design, with a cistern and an S-bend.

The S-bend separates idealism from pragmatism. Up above, the white porcelain remains elegant and pristine—hiding the seedy underpinnings.

Now, I’ve always loved politics and my plunger is most definitely pushing one party‘s cah-rap moreso than the other. 

I picked up the San Juan Daily Star yesterday and found the first three pages full of numerous criminal charges facing a host of politicians, lawsuits & political incriminations in Puerto Rico. (By the way, the new Johnny Depp movie pays tribute to the San Juan Star newspaper, “The Rum Diary.")

I’m beginning to believe we are either wired to be either a Democrat or a Republican and something, oh so long ago, just clicked and we never turned back. Some of us raise our children conservative and yet vote liberal. Some of us vote conservative and let someone else raise our children. And some flush twice.

So, we may as well duel it out again… this way…

On July 11, 1804, Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr met on the dueling grounds at Weehawken, New Jersey, to fight the final skirmish of a long-lived political and personal battle. When the duel was over, Hamilton would be mortally wounded, and Burr would be wanted for murder.

It was the New York governor's race of 1804, however, that pushed the two men to violence. In that election, Burr turned his back on the Republicans and ran as an independent. Burr believed that if he won, he would regain power. The prospect of Burr leading New York mortified Hamilton, who despised and mistrusted Burr completely. In early 1804, Hamilton tried to convince New York Federalists not to support Burr.

Hoping that a victory on the dueling ground could revive his flagging political career, Burr challenged Hamilton to a duel. Hamilton wanted to avoid the duel, but politics left him no choice. 

The two political enemies met on the dueling grounds at Weehawken, New Jersey on the morning of July 11. Each fired a shot from a .56-caliber dueling pistol. Burr was unscathed; Hamilton fell to the ground mortally wounded. He died the next day.

Burr was charged with two counts of murder. After his term as vice president ended, he would never hold elective office again. And his next plot to gain power would end with charges of treason. And to really chafe his backside, ol’ Hamilton ends up on the $10.

The political point is not to gain wisdom or insight, it simply is to embarrass a candidate and undercut that person's worth and viability.

We are not escaping the political season here either in Puerto Rico. 

The politicians are out in cars with large speakers sticking out of the top of the vehicle and they drive throughout the country. Talking up a storm and playing Salsa.  It is incredibly loud - since it is in Spanish, I have little to no idea what they are saying.

How clean & refreshing to be ignorant.

It sure beats walking down Saudi Arabia unwittingly eating a piece of pork and swiggin‘ a mug o‘ port; only to attract a machete from Akned the diviner just in from Mecca.