February: The Month to Purify

Februarius comes from the Latin word februare, which means to “to purify”, or to “make clean”.  It was in Februarius that the Romans prepared themselves for the start of the New Year, which began on Mar 1.

With February’s stillness often comes an opportunity for quietude and reflection.  It is a good time to draw inward and notice the purity of winter’s light and crispness.  With love and kindness is in the air, it is good time to surround yourself with mindful thoughts.

Zooming around the internet for information and making connections is magnificent - I see the same words crop up all of the time, camaraderie, friends, support, sharing, building communities.  Sites like Facebook, homey comforts of individual blogs, and the like - allowing folks to find old friends and make new ones. 

And yet, I believe good manners, learning to be a rapt listener, the life long battle of learning to forget ourselves, & the apropos concern about how we look; are a high-class beat that are not getting enough attention in today’s rough-and-tumble backstreets of tweets and text messages.  

It seems like some like the thumping good beat of it all and one liners written so quickly by folks in bad moods delivering piston-driven tiny amounts of poison with great accuracy. It seems to be what sitcoms and comedy sketches tell us are part of relating with each other.  The world weary, everything is boring, sardonic attitude is perhaps funny on the big screen but hard to stomach in the actual family.

The nasty gesture in an auto may be safe at 70 mph but not helpful at the dinner table. The ease with which we tell folks they are dopes or wrong on a blog or Facebook is not the same as clarifying, through kindness, to your spouse, your point of view. 

Words are a feisty mob and I realize there are far too many things clamoring for our attention. It may feel like an over-crowded mall with too many people in the way; and we need to cut to the exit.   Is this a justifiable excuse to be so curt, rude & eliminate manners? 

A young lady’s angry, snappy & curt reply to a message written to a gentleman‘s post last weekend made me think about what is acceptable and what is not. And without being there in person, what does it mean, online, when you say, “WHAT ARE TALKING ABOUT?” “Or I don’t get you!”  In person to person contact, this may be seen in context, but most often I find the all caps or the exclamation point to infer that I’m being shouted at.

Bad manners are not acceptable.  I’ve had second chances in life.  We all have to have second chances, but it would be noteworthy to begin thinking more after making mistakes and allowing others to make them with the smarmy quip. 

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new”.     

—Einstein

No need to judge folks that are offensive too harshly though.  Our well-being should not depend on another ’s right to change or not.  It is wrong to deny the mistakes and wrong not to learn from them. 

“It’s not a slam at you when people are rude - It’s a slam at the people they’ve met before”.

—F. Scott Fitzgerald

Facing your problems/mistakes and learning the right lessons can lead to wisdom and determination.

I’m thankful to the case in point responder—she’s caused me to ponder on February, love and behaviors, of cleansing and of purification & what I need to do myself. 

Often times, folks behind bad attitudes and bad behaviors are not kidding anyone…their need to be in control at all times are the acts of self-defense & deep down they feel un-worthy.  Their design is to provoke a confrontation.  Of course being right all of the time is not right, it is not even feasible. And if we are, indeed, always right; then why are we here? 

Great philosophers such as Socrates and Plato were often engaged in discourse through debates.  Debates are often seen not only as a means of reaching conclusions,  but as a practice to expands one’s mind and develop tolerance.

Being wrong myself on many occasion has not made me less worthy, it has made me more human and more approachable.

“Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right”.

—Laurens Van Der Post

It is a good month for Purification and Change.

There is a difference between looking centuries old, mean spirited and craggy-faced… as opposed to looking like an ancient oak tree, where the traditions have grown deep.

“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value”.                          

—Einstein