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Health & Fitness

Shillelagh Law and Women

Irish Diplomacy usually means...the ability to tell someone to go to hell so that they will look forward to the trip OR should we try a gentler approach to quench anger.

One of the most ancient [and by modern comparison to a British musket, bayonet and sword] rather unimpressive weapons in Gaelic history is the shillelagh stick. A great lump of cured blackthorn used to clobber an unsuspecting Cockney right off his horse.

Nowadays, we Paddies use them to ward off unsuitable suitors that come a callin’ for our wee daughters or as a walking stick for the odd farmer’s dog that may get a bit TOO protective of the homestead, or as a gentle reminder of our rich heritage and struggles.

But if we take that quaint and noble stick and put it in the hands of one that knows Irish martial arts; understanding the deadly art of Bataireacht, (the stick/hurl fights was dramatized in Gangs of New York movie) it can be lethal.

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Such are the ways to compare and contrast the motives and methods of a gentleman. When we witness chivalry, do we see the rich heritage or a cobberin’ stick? In the wrong eye of the beholder, LOOK OUT!

Open the door will ye’?!?!

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Holding a door open is nothing other than a minor act of courtesy, not a sign of weakness or our need of protection. It is all a matter of perception. One could easily pose the scenario spectrum anywhere from men acting in subservience / respect, as in, “Oh please bless me with your gentle smile and graceful movements – I respect you deeply” to men doing it out of arrogance and condescension, as in, “Here, let me help you with that door little toy thing that I plan to manipulate and devour every day of my miserably, long life!”

When I have witnessed this lovely gesture of opening a car or office door; certain ladies either seem awkward in response, or think that they are just too ‘above that’ to say bleedin’… ‘Thanks’.  If it were for any other reason, than kindness, I probably would kick a scoundrel’s teeth in myself.

To be certain, a man’s intentions may not be completely selfless in nature 24/7; but humans are drawn to each other and most men are drawn in a uniquely powerful way to women, but not always sexually.

Often men help the elderly woman, as they recall the kindness they feel toward their mother or auntie or grandmother. Sometimes, men are just being kind because their parents raised them right. We don’t question why the nurse brings us water.

In addition, I appreciate it when men use slightly more temperate language when they are in the company of women. Also, if men insist on walking on the outside of the path while I walk on the beaten trek to keep my dress from getting muddy or full of burrs - that’s grand by me as well.

So, for us women to be upset at men for a subtle gesture [most often noble / only rarely lascivious or haughty  in origin], is like being upset at your cat for cleaning itself with their tongue or your dog for relying on its nose at a first time meet and greet. It is human nature to respectfully reach out and make contact.

Separate but Equal?

Obviously men and women are equal – I think most of us established that quite some time ago, don't you? – But, we are not the same, nor should we hope to be; unless we would rather be in love with ourselves or a man that was exactly like our girl friends; which may be part of the problem these days.

 In a different day and age; is it safe to say that neither the working at home / raising children NOR the working in the field / outside the home to barter, trade, sell goods was deemed the more noble deed?  But at some point in time, our myopic society told us that from the two paths, one we can put a seeming “pass / fail” on, while the other may take years for self-gratification, if any comes at all.

As barter / trade economies gave way to earning / saving currency, we were able to save and get more stuff. So, as humans are prone to do, we continued to ask, “am I doing a good job?”, “Am I the best in my neighborhood, in this town?” And you cannot compete in a concrete manner necessarily, with having more or better children.

Oh, we just CAN’T afford NOT to!!

But in modern times, some lost track of both the respect and power given to those granted the gift of childrearing. It isn’t a path filled with medals and awards [although many have tried their hardest to win awards vicariously through their children’s athletics programs]. Childrearing is a hard row to hoe and you don’t get a black BMW in return. You may not see the fruits of your labor or the wisdom of your decisions for 5, 10, or 20 years, if ever.

We have trapped ourselves into a rat race, and don’t even realize it – in fact, we have welcomed it as we simply do whatever it takes to keep up with the Joneses. We don’t need much of what we have but our children truly do need us to be there.

The feminist movement made many gains, but perhaps it lost, for us, a bit of what it means to be a woman; if some of us find our definition of success defined outside of much, if any, mention of raising a family the right way. Ahhhh, that takes too long. Old school. We want it all right now. Gimme. New school.

Favorite Ingredients in any Discussion in Ireland – POLITICS, RELIGION AND CYNICISM

If uber-feminists damaged what it means to be a woman by trying to define us, in part, with what it once meant to be a man; then the social media did not help much either. We need our passions filled immediately. Very few of us see long term or raise a glass for “10 years’ time”.

The Irish did. We envisioned a free Ireland, but knew it would take much suffering and great effort. Even you Yanks saw this. So says the great Thomas Paine, THESE are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but we that stand by it now, deserve the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheaply, we esteem too lightly.”

 Raising good children can never be obtained as quickly as we earn $80,000… wait Paine never said THAT.

FACING THE GANG OF SPINNERS AND  GROUCHES

With the recession rearing its ugly devil-head in this country, Ireland and beyond over the years, anything has got to be better than listening to the dour sourpuss talking head economists & politicians playing the blame game.

They speculate with their own pet project idealisms but rarely with what we use to balance our own budgets / common sense. It is almost comical to hear the two sides argue with equally convincing fervor, “Well, in times of recession you must expand government to help the poor” with a backlash “NAY… During a recession, you must shrink the size of government in order for people to keep more of what they earn and allow the market to flourish” with both sides in complete conviction.

NO GENTLEMANLY BEHAVOR SEEN RECENTLY WITH LEADERS

The habit of mutual condescension prevailed throughout the entire election cycle. In the past; style over substance often insulated presidents and the politicians. But, ultimately Government appears to have grown far too smug and self-important.

Thanks to multi-forms of media outlets these past 20 years - politicians & scoundrels are being exposed, to a greater degree. JFK would probably have been exposed as a philanderer in this day and age, true. But that never seemed to hurt Bill Clinton. As the churches of Europe dwindled, most in Europe didn’t know what all the fuss with Monica was about anyhow!

But, in no thanks to the media, we are also tuned in for only the immediate story and often miss the crux. Say anything and by the time it catches up to you, the media is onto something new [unless they really didn’t like you, and then they’ll help us relive it daily like it just happened].

BEING A SLAVE TO OTHER’S OPINIONS…

 I’ve totally been able to forget all the goofy things that Al Gore once said, but doggonit, I just can’t seem to forget that President Bush is STILL responsible for… well something! I also seem to have missed that violent crimes and murder rates have fallen drastically since the 70s. I guess that’s old news and I better get on board with the media telling me to fear guns now more than ever.

But what does this have to do with us Irish, being a woman and Paddy’s day? Well, again, we must have patience and not live for immediate gratification. The point to this story MAY never come (patience while I stall you figuring it out myself) and we may have to meet at the pub next Saturday for a ‘nother go.

AWFUL TOOL AT TIMES

In the good old days we switched off work on a Friday and didn't give work a second thought until Monday morning. But now, work can follow us everywhere. We are never 'alone'. Our jobs come with us wherever we are. We can't escape.

 Solitude and rugged individualism are harder to grasp. We spend very little time reflecting and truly wondering; all alone with God and oneself. Most people, when given 20 minutes of wait time; idle it away on checking texts, email and inane social media curiosities.

We all agree that technology enables us to be flexible, but how many of us see it for the wrecking ball and anchor that it can play as well? This longed-for technology has unfortunately brought work and time wasting, into our home / family time. It crosses boundaries and blurs lines. Which one of us hasn’t gotten up from a board game with the children and checked email, texts, voicemail, investments or Facebook?

TOO MUCH OF A CHORE…

Some media sources are depriving us & our teenagers of genuine relationships, kindness to an actual person, and empathy. Reality shows are fake, pretending to be real.

What is up with the Bachelor type shows where groups of men and women are positively gagging for one man or one woman! A real woman or man wouldn’t dignify such degradation I say. And the reality shows where we work together during the day and then vote each other off / backstab at night. Is that how we would raise a family or build a team at our own place of business?

Facebook fantasies of having hundreds or thousands of friends, launching tweets about your comings and goings, are not real. In reality, we really don’t care that you’re at the mall or that you have yet another way of taking a picture of yourself with your camera-phone. Are most folks only saying “like” so that you’ll, in turn “like” back and we can have an unending hymn of “you the man, no you the man, no you the wo-man, no you the wo-man!?” 

THERE IS A RESPONSIBILITY IN THE VALLEY (…OUR CITY OF WOODBURY)

Even on the Patch, we don’t have to face people that we insult. We can slam or suggest they are an ‘idiot’ and we delete that which confronts, contradicts or rubs us up the wrong way. Surround ourselves with “friends” that are, in truth, fantasy acquaintances in large part.

 The depth of its satisfaction in the moment is ostensibly deep -- but by tomorrow, quite shallow for us --  thus convincing ourselves and more important teenagers that the moment is essential and hard work over the long haul is for fools, and something that only that one silly teacher talked about when we learned about the Greatest Generation. Yes, there’s a reason they are called that.

AN IRISH JUG FLASH MOB?!

Or, you could end up like me – not even having a FB account and thus not even enough FB friends to arrange an Irish jig flash mob.  My long-ago acquaintances I’m sure are doing very well without me.  We have added all this social networking to our lives, but I haven’t been able to add more free hours to my day. I have trouble keeping up with the friends I’m involved with now without all the gadgets. I do believe the phones, laptops, TV, internet, headphones, ipads et al, has far more chains and locks vs. keys for so many of us.

Thanks ever so much for holdin’ the door me lad!

A new survey overseas says that one of the best ways to improve brain efficiency is to read boring, repetitive stuff that will be so dull, circuitous and tedious that your brain, in protest at the lack of stimulation, will actually go into itself and start thinking about more interesting things, thus making you smarter.

Henceforth; if you've managed to make it this far in my “St. Patrick’s Day” piece, your IQ has probably gone up 5 points. You can thank me later . . .

So, next time a man opens a door for you; just keep letting him doing so until your brain begins to stimulate itself about more important things -- like reminding your daughter that it’s her turn to scrub the toilet and the boys need to mop the floor and tomorrow we’re going on a hike into the hills without a cell phone and then drive into the city to see a museum without texting.

SAD STATE WHEN THE IRISH ARE GIVING LECTURES ON MANNERS & SOCIAL MEDIA LIMITS…when,

Irish Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to go to hell so that they will look forward to the trip.  I’ve tried it…but I usually did add a wink, a nod and a smile! 

THE  I-ANCHOR

  Now hop to it, get off that i-anchor, draw me a pint of Guinness and I’ll meetcha and all the ‘quar lads & lassies on Paddy’s day to finish this debate down at McGee’s Tavern.

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