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Health & Fitness

Stop Making a Mess: Sweet Corn Abuse in Woodbury

The devastating cloud of war upon the floor of DMZ Cub, 38th Rainbow Parallel and Kim Jong Kowalski.

Creating trench warfare within the aisles of the produce departments of the grocery stores in Woodbury is unacceptable… abuse… of Sweet Corn. 

Are you one of the KPA offenders that strip the husks off of your ears of corn at the store and allow it fall to the ground. Who began this trend? The UN finds this behavior unacceptable. It is a little unsightly, and it seems to me a waste of food, plus a wee bit unfair to the shopkeeper.  This is our Battle of Inchon. OK, maybe I’ve watched too many reruns of M*A*S*H.

But, I don't buy the excuse of those who claim they are only checking to see if the corn is ripe. I simply grab the cob and can almost always tell by its firmness and girth if it is a keeper. I have to watch my pennies the same as everyone else.  What about the extra staff needed to clean up this mess? It’s an expensive overseas [or outside of our home] venture some have created. Do we core each apple, peel back bananas, open/check the orange for juiciness prior to purchase? No, no, no! It is time for an armistice.

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What is the best etiquette here?

With no cable TV to entertain me, you’re going to think it’s no wonder I’m moved by this minuscule issue. I’d rather be star gazing at night — giant scorpions, charging bulls and sighting UFOs with Mulder and Scully… But, I CAN’T until we clean up this mess!

The real reason we do this, I’m beginning to think is because… we LOVE making a mess at the grocery store across the pond and not at our own home. It’s a good thing we don’t choose a mate like this. “myaaahhh, lemme just rip your shirt off… naaahhhh I don’ like dis one, lemme see a ‘nuddah!” 

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Dry chewy starchy corn?

I’ve heard from farmers that you should want to keep your corn wrapped in that beautiful natural corn husk.  The sugars that produce the sweet flavor that enhances the taste of corn starts converting to starch when it is picked and within about 2 days are about 50% depleted. The minute it's opened, the sweet corn's sugars begin to turn to starch. Goodbye sweet flavor and moisture.

Stripping the corn of its natural wrapper speeds this process and also causes it to dry quicker. You want to serve the best corn at your barbecue or family dinner, don’t you? Stop rippin’ that lovely corn’s shirt off.  

You can easily tell if corn is ready to go home with you without rippin’ and tearin’.  Is the husk vibrant green, are the silks of the tassels still fresh and soft to the touch?  When you run your thumb along the rows of kernels, do they feel firm, tight and plump?  If so, you got yourself a nice ear of sweet corn ready for in-home shucking right before you are ready to cook it. 

Nailing the Corn? More insulting metaphors!

I have also seen some folks peeling the husk back and sticking their fingernail into a kernel. Then, just tossing it back on the pile for whatever reason with intriguing strains of fungus and bacteria for the rest of us to now delight in when we unwittingly choose from their discards. In a recent study; even amongst health care workers, all of the workers with long nails [>3mm] harbored bacteria and yeast compared to only 18 percent of those with short nails. As if corn hasn’t already been overpriced with past ethanol boondoggles, shops are sure to cover their cost with the piles of nailed and husked rejects that will drive up costs even further.

Habits

This habit we created is probably based on old world advice to check for worms.  You do it possibly because your mom and dad did it before you [my husband was born here and NEVER saw it as a child and I, in Ireland, and not even my grannie did it!].

Or some just do it because, by heck, wasn’t there that one exotic libertine that did it last week when I was at the organic, hydroponic, allergen free, irrigated with wind energy, farmer’s market… and  they just MUST know something. Well yes, but so did ol’ grandpa and grandma that didn’t have to play strip tease with the ol’ corn.

There is a less intrusive way to check for worms. Look for brown tips on the leaves.  Avoid husks with brown spots and dry, yellow stems.

For the best-tasting corn, take home your stalks intact, don't store them too long and only husk the corn just before you cook it. Then, waltz out to your back yard and throw the stalks into your compost pile. When you are done eating the corn, that goes to the pile too and make yourself some ‘black gold’ soil.

With produce, including 40% of corn possibly, being affected from drought in the Midwest this summer; think of less waste and appreciate all the work entailed with this hot commodity.

And what about this…

This MAY be internet legend, but I think that perhaps, well yes maybe, some environmentalist passed along a rumor that the corn silk makes natural dental floss for loosely packed teeth; AND the husks double for lovely, goin’ gah-reeeen Mother Earth toilet paper. So just chew on that, what about the children, global warming, polar bears and feel very laden with this guilt the next time you dump spare corn parts on the floor of .  

For shame!

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