I noticed that many people used the month of November for giving thanks to the things in their life. A person battling any type of mental health issue is thankful for the strength to just get out of bed each day.
On that note, I am using the month of December for a time of reflection on the daily blessings. These are the daily things that I have recognized as my joy; happy moments that I cherish. Consider this my journal for this month. On my blog site www.reflectionswithrhonda.com , I wrote about my experience with Lupus and mental health issues. My psychotherapist suggested I keep a journal on the moments of joy so that feeling can be recreated.
Journal Entry: December 5, 2012
I use my Samsung Galaxy Tablet as an alarm; my cell phone just isn't reliable anymore. The cool part about it, you actually have to search for the "Dismiss" button to shut off the alarm. The bad part is that you only have to touch the screen to snooze 10 minutes. I woke up totally exhausted and 40 minutes later than originally planned. Guess I should be thankful I made it out of the bed.
I had to give some thought about what was going on the past few days to have me so tired.
- The new crappy policies being formulated at work.
- Planning the holidays.
- I did not juice for 2 days.
- I ate non-gluten bread.
It could be a combination of all of the above. So, I am glad I brought my juice to work. Breakfast: 3 oranges, 4 carrots, 4 apples, with a handful of spinach and parsley. I sipped on that all the way to work. It felt great to have a healthy breakfast. Unfortunately the toll of the last few days still left me dragging, so I did something sinfully, naughty: tall white chocolate, pepermint mocha no whip with a pistachio muffin. Refined sugar, caffeine, and gluten: my three worst enemies. I have hit a downslide and am in self-destruct mode. Recognize and will repair> Drinking tea, water and juice until dinner. I have a green juice for lunch: Kale, spinach, parsley, carrots and parsley.
I need to take care of me nutritionally, emotionally and physically at all times if I want to get better.
I am unsure if I just received a blessing in disguise. My computer lost it's scan feature; spent 30 minutes on phone with tech support. Now I just got kicked out of my programs due to an error on the mainframe. Since we are paperless, it means no work and all play. lol
Darn. One hour later and the systems are corrected. On the brighter side, my cubemate went to Chipotle for lunch, I gave him $5 to pick up chips and guacamole, he came back within minutes with the items and returned my $5. Said they didn't charge for them; he was just being nice. It pays to bring in snacks and share with your cubemate. Now I am going to put on my headphones and find my happy place so I can deal with the remainder of the day.
Thank goodness for freshly made juice. I actually felt physically better since drinking my afternoon juice: kale, spinach, carrots, parsley and apple. I was no longer dragging and tired.
There is definitely something to be said about the food you eat affecting your health...
Now I just need to drink a lot of water; read about how healthy it is: more energy, relieves stress, etc. I did dilute the afternoon juice with distilled water to help me out. Music also helps. I decided I like straight R&B music in the afternoons; mellow, relaxing, and keeps me calm. Yes, I found my happy place this afternoon. Survived with our snappiness even. :)
What a pleasant surprise. My cousin Gene invited me to have dinner with him tomorrow. I have not seen him since last summer, which is also our first time meeting. We met each other on Ancestry.com and we are second cousins. Our family was so private about everything that we didn't even know each other existed until we communicated through emails. I met several cousins this way. It is a project I love to work on, but do not have enough hours in a day. Someday, when I am old and retired, I would love to have my entire family on the tree. Hopefully, I won't end up with Dementia or Alzhiemer's.
A surprise invite and outing sure brightens my day; use to dread going out just three months ago, not anymore.
I am really looking forward to having dinner with my cousin. He is also taking the same dosage of medication that I am on. Hereditary? That is something to think about.
My mood level: indifferent. How do you explain indifferent? I am not super happy like I was on Dino Days or even the playfulness of this morning. Since I jumped in the car and arrived to work, I have been on auto pilot. I am friendly outwardly to everyone, but inside I have no emotions. When I drive home for work, it is like a veil being lifted from me, then the aftermath of a pain in my chest. I am told it is from being tense and trying to relax.
My job itself is not stressful; I actually enjoy what I do because my brain is forced to work. It is the atmosphere. Over the past 1.5 years the environment has changed due to corporate polices. Some of these policies are due to federal regulations, the rest is just the overall treatment of their employees. It seems that everyone here is stressed over their production or possibility to make a mistake, they forgot how to enjoy work. The silence is deafening. I guess that is why I play the social butterfly; they will tell you they can hear me all over our area. What are they going to do: reprimand me for saying good morning to people?
Rebel with a cause - not.
If I wanted to work in a morgue with dead people with no personalities, I would have went to school for that. It really messes with my head and affects my mood. Just like coming to work when it is dark and leaving when it is dark. Feel like I should be in bed coming and going. :) I guess this is why I love my iPod so much. The noise helps me stay calm and focus. Well, we are working on the focus part again.
How many people feel the effects of the the change in seasons or atmosphere of your work place?
I use to love to work and hated coming home; worked 70 hours per week. Now it is the opposite. Ever since we bought our new home, I am so comfortable there. Mario thinks we have a ghost; I told him he just doesn't like to be in the house alone. When it is too quiet he hears the bushes blowing against the window in the wind and it makes him jumpy. I just laugh at it. I enjoy the peaceful, solitude of the house.
Anyone else get jumpy in their home?
My drive home was simply draining; complete darkness just has my bed calling my name. When I got home the kids had ordered pizza so I did not have to cook. I proceeded to a hot bath to relax my nerves and went to bed. I fell asleep as soon as I hit the pillow and closed my eyes.
What do you do to relax before bed time?