Go for the Gold!

If my friends' Facebook statuses are any indication, many of us are spending a lot of time in front of the TV right now.  Are you as amazed as I am at the level of performance by the dedicated young men and women of the Olympics?

Every two years I am reminded what it takes to become world-class at something -- anything actually. While the body-numbing coverage of the Olympics focuses on athletic prowess that I couldn’t dream of (without experiencing a muscle pull in my brain), world-class performances aren’t limited to athletics.  Not many of us will ever become a member of the 1% club – whether it’s athletics, academia, business, music, theater, publishing... The lists go on, and my name is not on any of them.

But I think most of us have something that we, at least in our own minds, could do better than most people (whether it is something admirable, or not so much so).  I started thinking about having an Everyman (and Woman) Olympics that would allow each of us to experience the thrill of victory. 

I would enter an Olympic Land Diving Event (specifically four-point – elbow, elbow, knee, knee).  For some reason, my body has decided on its own to practice this event several times this summer.  My elbows have the scabs to prove it. Thank God, I am good at it and haven’t broken anything yet (except my friend Lori’s ceramic coffee mug).

I posed to my Facebook friends, “What new event would you want to see in the Olympics that would give you a shot at a gold medal?”  Here are some of the proposed events in which my friends would aspire to win the gold.

• Two-fisted (synchronized) Oreo dunking.
• Internet surfing (on a keyboard of course).  Neighbor Heidi adds, all puns intended, “Hands down.”
• One friend, a community leader, said: “Thinking about an event.”  I think we’ll put her on the Olympic Committee.  She has great potential and obvious leadership skills.
• Multi-tasking on no sleep.
• Elbow bend, fork to mouth.
• Toddler wrestling and, related, diaper changing.
• Marathon dishwashing.
• Foot-in-mouth races.
• Synchronized chair dancing, started in college in the bars at Winona State and perfected at wedding dances through the years.  Tina says she has “moves like Jaggar, from the comfort of her chair.”
• Procrastination (often done as Doubles Procrastination with a spouse).

I think the field would be crowded for Olympic Procrastination.  This would be an interesting event.  None of the competitors would work out in advance, many would show up late for the contest, the stands would likely be half-empty as procrastinators tend to support other procrastinators, and we would wait an interminable amount of time for the judges’ scores.  Sounds like my kind of event!

Now, your turn...  What would make you run for the gold?