1. When it appears you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's actually dead.
2. DO NOT go in the basement when the power goes out. If you must, run up the stairs as fast as you can without looking back.
3. As a general rule, DO NOT solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
4. If you hear a mysterious loud noise, DO NOT go looking for the cause.
5. If you’re running from a monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it’s still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
6. When you hear a voice murmuring "Get out"...GET. OUT.
7. When grabbing for your toothbrush in the mirror medicine cabinet, anticipate seeing a psychotic killer standing behind you when you close it. If you choose to run away, refer to rule 5.
Have a safe and commonsensical Halloween!
